I've never "celebrated" Halloween, and that's never going to change. In a perfect world, I would wear costumes every single day, why wait for just one stupid day of the year to do that? But that's just me right? I must say though; people take the "costume fest" just a little too far. I have seen a 200 pound grown woman in a ballerina outfit, complete with tutu showing her overgrown, massive girly bits, and the stockings were too small, so they kept rolling down her thunder thighs. WHY?! would you subject your friends to this torture?? I bet for the whole night they were all throwing up in their throats and swallowing it, just so they wouldn't spew it all over you and hurt your feelings.
Just a few tips to keep everyone in check, because some of you have no clue! But have no fear Sue Bee is here!!
DON'Ts
1. DON'T be unprepared. Lets say your costume includes platform stillettos, bring a pair of flats with you for when your feet get tired. It wouldn't be smart to walk around barefoot at a party with sharp objects possibly lying around on the ground, or sharp rocks in a parking lot etc.
If you're wearing makeup specific to your costume - bring a little extra with you for touchups. Wouldn't want to see Casper's face half white/half brown would you? Bring extra powder, lipstick/lip gloss, glitter, mascara etc.
2. DON'T super size your costume. Besides being hot and uncomfortable all night, which leads to sweat and odor (you don't want that!!!) nobody wants to dance with you because you will bump them across the room. Also, giant costumes are kinda played out & super corny... unless that's the look you're going for of course.
3. DON'T be predictable. There are some costumes that need to be retired! Vampires, Tinker bells, Strippers, Hos, Frankensteins I'm talking to YOU. The possibilities are endless use your imagination, be creative damnit!
4. DON'T go costume - less. What's the point? You're just going to ruin the fun for everyone else. Stay home damnit!
DOS
5.DO wear your own size!! For the sake of everyone keeping their food INSIDE their stomachs, be considerate I beg you! Don't get caught up in the size zero phenomenon and wear something 3 sizes smaller; why torture yourself!? Some small chicks can get away with wearing kids sizes, but don't forget about length nobody wants to see hairy butt cheeks peeking out from under your tiny dress when you walk. What's worst; you grip the hem the entire night to prevent it from showing... what the entire club has ALREADY seen. And you rob your friends of a good time and make them feel uncomfortable for having to shield your behind and follow you everywhere.
6. DO be creative and unique Not only will everyone remember that you were the only one wearing that costume. Its refreshing to see confident people take risks, and be comfortable in their own skin. Added bonus: next year everyone will swagger jack, and you can say I DID IT FIRST!
7. DO be classy - not trashy Yes, yes, people may already know you're the village mattress, but you don't have to dress like one honey. Everyone can guarantee the only skin that you wont show this year is ... your foot bottom perhaps? You dress skimpy every single year! Try something different (also refer to no.3 above) I'm sure it would surprise everyone if you switched your game up this year, who knows maybe a nice guy will wana wife you just because you look SO good tonight *long pause* Ok maybe not! but at least you'll look good and feel good right honey?
8. DO have fun its only once a year you can dress like a clown - literally and go out in public and no one will stare and laugh. Enjoy it! Drink responsibly, take pictures, enjoy your friends, make new ones and just let loose and revel in it. You only live once right?
